Skip to main content

AGV GP-Tech Helmet Review Part 1

I rarely read product reviews these days. They are all advertisements and we know it- pure fantasy. On the other hand, there's the 'discussion forums' where you can read countless essays written by lonely males holed up in their mancaves about the products they've purchased, sharing with others the ins and outs of why the product they invested in is so great. Of course it's great, you bought it and you're actually wasting life hours writing about it. We beat our chests about the little gizmos and gadgets we've been able to scrounge up on our hunting and gathering missions out in the shopping wilderness. Heading back to camp with our gear speared on a stick- which is really a lonely little desk away from the kids or wife - we review the goods, inspect it, try it on, pose in action shots in front of the mirror, perhaps in our underwear, perhaps dressed up in our leathers in the garage. Then, as if to map out a terrain that no other fellow savage has explored, we set up to transpose our inner most thoughts on digital paper about whatever it is we just bought, signaling to other tribe members where to go and what to see along the adventure.

If you want to read a good helmet review of the AGV GP TECH helmet, click that link.

My story begins on HWY 85. Five o'clock, time to head home. With the Norton warming up, I sketched out a quick map in my head of where I might go, what indirect route would take me home this night, before collapsing in front of the TV to cool off from the day with a half bottle of wine, a pizza and a beautiful young woman named Morena- brown hair, dark eyes and tan everywhere, draped over me on the chaise lounge.

I slipped my AGV GP Tech helmet on, the Rose one, but just as I did, my cell phone rang. It was Johan, my Germano/Chinese business associate. I owed him money. "Where are you?" he piped. "I'm at Disneyland." I lied. "Last minute idea. We rode. I'm with Morena, rode all night and slept on the beach," I said. "Did you hear about the earthquake? Tens of thousands wiped off the face of the planet and the world goes on like nothing happened." The 2008 quake in China had just hit, thousands of people died. This just days after another 80,000 wiped off the earth from the Myanmar cyclone.

I hopped on the Norton, gave her a few threatening revs and head out onto the road. We motorcyclists have a small guy complex, we have to. We ride 300 lb motors with wheels attached with them at 70 mph in the middle of semi-trucks and madmen and women, drunks and blind people. We therefore need to pretend we 'own the road'. If we didn't you wouldn't see motorcycles on the road.

It was one of those days where the world on the freeway seemed off kilter, like it had an inner ear infection. These are deadly days to be out on any motorized vehicle let alone a motorcycle. I pulled out on to the freeway feeling like I'd just walked into a retard parade. Brake lights flashing without warning. Turnsignals left on, cellphone conversations going on in every car but one that I saw. Speed up, slow down, swerve this way, miss your lane, tail gating, rubber-knecking, going too fast in the slow lane, going to slow in the fast lane. It was a motorized vomit salad on wheels. My helmet was beginning to steam up a little, so I cracked the shield and adjusted the vents.

Those types of ridings days scare the crap out of me. It's not till I get into some open road that I decide to let it hang out. Duck on top the tank and crank the throttle back, superman style, a rolling bullet, up hill and in to some other zone of speed. It seems that at this speed others on the road lose consciousness of my presence. I'm out of their space zone. The helmet was quiet at speed.

In my rear view I noticed a mini cooper in hot pursuit on this open stretch of road. It's always a mini cooper buzzing behind me. This particular one I've seen before. All black, piloted by a long haired black haired damzel with dark sunglasses on, sitting low in her captain's chair, zeroing in on me. Squinting to concentrate on her and the road, it seemed to me that she was smiling as she stalked me. Was she chasing me? Was she madly in love? Did my ass really look that good that day?

I was told by a girlfriend a few years ago that women love to check out guy's asses on their bikes. Not something I'd thought about before.

She was luscious. I could see the red of her lips. Desire. Lust. I projected whatever lust energy I could back at her.

I slowed down a bit and she narrowed the gap some but kept her distance. What was she thinking? Would she stalk me to my house, patrol my street until I pulled off my helmet and make some lewd remark indicating the desire to get it on? That would be fine with me, but she'd have to be ready for a little threesome action with my girlfriend.

She eventually peeled off the road and re-entered the zone of the stop and go world. I was sure I'd see her again.

I saw a couple of bikes on the other side of the freeway heading the opposite direction. 3 bikes total. All of them gave the standard 'biker solute, a wave or a nod, one finger, etc. I've never understood this ridiculous practice, so I gave them my middle finger. I wouldn't say a word to most of these individuals at a cocktail party or newspaper stand. Why should I wave at you from 200 feet away while going 75 mph in the fast lane? That same nut who just waived to me will no doubt be the same jack who steels the helmet off my bike if left unattended, but some how you feel the need to waive to me? I really don't care if you're on a bike or car or on foot. You're just one more retard in the parade.

dispatched by James Hunt.

......... Part 1, in the Series AGV GP-Tech Helmet Review


Anonymous said…
People on bikes salute and waive to confirm each others joy of riding. The same guys that wave are the only guys tha will help if you ever have a problem on the bike. Cars would just run your ass over.

Popular posts from this blog

Hardware: Supermoto Wheels Explained

Supermoto wheels are a big investment, when you factor that your 2-3 year old dirt bike may have a resale value in dirt form in the $4-5K range, if that. We get calls from guys all the time who say "well, I'm not really racing or nothing, so I'm just looking for the cheapest wheels you have to convert to Supermoto". Well, the real reply there is that there really isn't a cheap way to get into Supermoto unless you're going to go Sportsman about it and ride on knobbies or some type of dual-sport tire. Quality 17-inch supermoto wheels that will last are going to set you back between $800 and $2000 depending on how deep you're going to go at this and whether you want quality and performance or just a good price. Motostrano is a full scale supermoto specialist and we've been involved in Supermoto since it's re-birth in the United States in 2002. We offer complete supermoto wheels made from the finest materials and built by experience wheel builders

Riding the Moustache Samedi 27 2X Tandem Electric Bike

I love riding with my partner and riding by tandem is one of my favorite ways to get around on a Sunday. Touring by tandem is literally twice as fun as riding solo,when you are on a bike with the one you love and the one that loves you. But tandem bikes are rare and excellent electric tandem bikes are even rarer, so I wanted to give you a fresh impression of our ride yesterday on the 2018 MOUSTACHE Samedi 27 X2 tandem . Moustache is a French company, making some of the most innovative ebikes in the world. Their tandem is no exception. This bike comes in two build types, either a smooth tire touring type or a knobby tire off-road type, but the frames, motors and other specs are pretty much the same.  I've ridden tandems for the past few years on road and off road. Yesterday we did a Meet-Up ride with other fellow ebikers in the Sonoma area. Naturally we were the only tandem riders, with others riding solo on their Haibikes, KTM, Giant, Felt and Blix bikes. Out and

Bust Your Commute at

If you live in the Bay Area, "getting around" is a constant thing to be reconciled with in your daily life. But, unlike other parts of the country where cars dominate completely and your only choice is to grin and bear it, you have countless alternate transportation solutions to help you differentiate from the crowd, go against the stream instead of with it, get un-stuck from traffic and benefit from health upsides as a result. Never before has there been such a wide variety of commuter-focused "personal transportation devices" available to you and the Bay Area is as usual a testing ground for all kinds of creative solutions to help you get from A to B.  Motostrano is the store at the center of all these alternative commuting solutions and we have been for almost 20 years now. Since 2002, a big part of Motostrano's focus has been about busting your commute. In the beginning it was motorcycles and in 2009 we migrated to bicycles and specifically  electric bicy